8. Steel (Steel, 1997)
Let's begin with the 1997 floptastic superhero yarn Steel starring NBA mega star Shaquille ONeal. Back in his heyday everything Shaq touched turned to gold - from clothing to video games his face was everywhere. As a result he was offered all kinds of deals and endorsements. One of the things he was offered was the role of John Henry Irons aka Steel in the world of DC comics in a 'big screen' (straight to video) movie version. Despite the plethora of other things Shaq had turned into money the only thing he managed to turn Steel into was a great big pile of forgettable turd. Sure it wasn't just his fault - although the fact he can't act his way out of a paper bag certainly didn't help - as there was just so much going against the production from day one for it ever to be a huge success. But no one could have anticipated just how much of a failure the movie was going to be, making back only 1/16th of its 16 million dollar budget. But we're not here to critique the movie itself. Oh no. Our intentions are far more shallow than that. We're here to look at the guys outfit and my God it's a sight to behold. Looking like a giant, armoured penis Steele wears what is supposed to be an impenetrable steel (surprise surprise) suit that strikes fear into the hearts of evil doers but instead all it does is make one of the NBA's most valuable player look like a walking advertisement for male birth control.