9. Convenience Store Clerk Clerks
In reality: Working at a convenience store is the absolute pits. You spend your entire shift on your feet staring at the exact same scenery of snacks and soda coolers day in and day out. The customers are almost always in a hurry and there's rarely a pleasant or meaningful conversation to be had. The pay is terrible, usually barely above minimum wage, and the monotony is like beating your brain with a dull hammer of sameness. There's also a pretty solid chance you're going to be held up at gunpoint sometime during your tenure. In which case you can either fork over the cash in the register or valiantly fight to defend someone else's money for $7.25/hour and possibly get killed in the process. Sign me up.
In The Film: While not necessarily a glamour job and definitely not lucrative in any way, Dante and Randall definitely have fun. Having your best friend work right next door in a job that can apparently be left unmanned any time is a sweet deal. It grants you a freedom that most people would love to have in their jobs, as they spend the day arguing about Star Wars and telling porn stories. And with no supervision of any kind, the two are free to come and go from their stores as they please. Where normal clerks would be forced spend their lunch breaks dining on the store's Styrofoam-flavored hot dogs, Dante gets a delivery of homemade lasagna. And when the day slows down, just take a break from the job for a little on the clock game of street hockey. And who hasn't wanted to get revenge on their ex-girlfriend by inadvertently causing them to have sex with a dead guy? You know you have, just admit it. The only real downside is that sometimes you have to work when you're not even supposed to be there that day.