10 Things That Will Never Happen In The DC Cinematic Universe

8. Superman's Porn Film Debut

Green Lantern yellow
DC Comics

Anyway, the least interest thing you can do with Superman is have him fight somebody. He's super-strong and nigh invisible, nobody's going to defeat him in a physical contest. What makes a compelling conflict for the Man Of Steel is placing him in some impossible situation where somebody else is going to die, or something along those lines.

Or you go for the real off-beat plotlines and have Superman brainwashed into making a porno. With fellow superhero Big Barda. Who's married to fellow masked adventurer Mister Miracle, just to make things even worse. The story involved an intergalactic sleaze called, um, Sleez who hypnotised the two into boinking for an adult movie.

Eventually they shook the brainwashing and took Sleez down. But not before they'd already made the film, which was just never mentioned again. R-rated erotica was thrust back into the mainstream thanks to 50 Shades Of Grey, but don't expect Warner Bros. to try and jump on that particular bandwagon. Superman's underpants will never appear on screen.

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Contributor

Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/