10 Things That Would Have Happened After 2015's Biggest Movies

9. The Martian - Mark Whatney Becomes The World's Worst Gap-Year Bore

Chances are, you've got some friends who spent a considerable chunk of their youth getting out and seeing the world. Discovering new places, discovering themselves, and discovering that once socks pass the three day mark you don't notice the smell any more. It's a terrific experience for them, but absolutely excruciating for everybody who has to share any time with them upon their return. Now substitute 3 months in Indonesia swapping stories about MDMA experimentation with literally years on an entirely unexplored and barren world with nothing but the sound of your own voice for company. "Oh, Mars is it?" Whatney pipes up at the merest mention of the planet "well I know all about that haha". "Did you see that rock outside?" he pipes up when other people are just quietly trying to watch TV, "I've got a hilarious story about a couple of rocks from when I was on Mars. I've probably never told you this one". "Oh is this Abba!? You'd think I'd be sick of Abba from when I was stuck on Mars all that time listening to them but, to be honest, I feel a connection with the band that... oh, why have you turned it off?" What will set Whatney apart from all the other Fine Art students who are convinced you're interested in the starry nights they enjoyed at their parents expense, is that he'll likely be carrying back some thinly-veiled psychological trauma that compels all around him to be as patient as possible. One thing that's guaranteed is that, come lunchtimes in the astronaut training facility, he'll be as isolated as he was on Mars.