9. Constantine's Life Is Saved - Constantine
To be fair, the Keanu Reeves-starring Constantine is a major pile of crap from top to bottom, a butchering of the Hellblazer comic from which it spawned, again making creator Alan Moore lose his faith in Hollywood (and having his name scratched from the credits). Essentially, John Constantine is in a general sense far removed from the character fans know from the comics; in the comic he is a not-so-likable anti-hero with a multitude of character flaws, and in the end, he manages to trick the Hellish powers that be into actually curing the lung cancer that is slowly killing him, and the movie ends with him continuing to operate as a badass. In the movie, Constantine ends up dying, but because of its sacrificial nature, he ends up ascending to Heaven. Lucifer, infuriated by this, heals his cancer so that he returns to Earth, alive, so that he can try to reclaim his soul in the future. Oh, and then there's the fact that Constantine is supposed to be blonde-haired, British and, well, look nothing like Keanu Reeves.