4. Your Partner Is Oddly Motivational
You and your partner have decided it is time to get a puppy. The two of you work so well together that raising an animal will be a cake walk. Three weeks later, your puppy-wuppy is going poopy-woopy all over your carpet. On this day, Fido has left a particularly rank doodle square in the middle of your dining room. So, you leave it be and take the dog for a nice walk around the block. When you return, your partner is home and the poo is still on the carpet. When you ask why your lover hasnt cleaned the mess, they accuse you of leaving the problem for them to take care of rather than taking care of it yourself. Clearly, thats what you have done, but its best not to admit that. You look at the mess and notice something - it looks different than it did before and it is somehow glowing from underneath. Before you can question it, your partner asks if you know where your cell phone is. You scream very dramatically while they laugh and exit the room. Seems like if you want your phone back, youre going to have to clean up the poo after all. Jigsaw, the maniacal mastermind of Saw, was probably a cellphone burying poo hater in his first relationship. It can be argued that Jigsaw was happy to see his subjects survive, which I believe, but his obsessively gory medium for motivation is slightly askew from a simple speech and completely unnecessary. Theres no better motivation than self-motivation. Remember that.