10 Worst Film Couples Of The Last 20 Years

When a movie's sole purpose is to titillate teenage girls and their mothers via a downright excessive amount of sexual explicitness, you'd think the most paramount task would be scouring the earth for two people capable of simulating some hot and heavy acts to their fullest potential.

After all, anyone can pretend to bump into someone else's nether regions, but it takes more than dim lighting and a willingness to slurp things that your mother probably wouldn't approve of to make a good onscreen pairing. They need mutual trust. They need an effortless rapport. They need to not make the audience want to stab themselves in the ears with a pencil.

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan clearly weren't scouted as rigorously as they should've been, because they were the most unconvincing sexual partners since Tom Cruise pretended he wasn't an asexual alien by impregnating Katie Holmes.

Then again, it might be asking a bit much for two relative novices to wring any real chemistry from such stilted and melodramatic source material. Anyone who's read the book knows that Dornan and Johnson were going up against some pretty difficult odds straight out of the gate.