12 Horror Sequels You Should Die Before You See

Once again, a cheap and cynical movie that has no reason to exist confuses homage with theft and thinks recycling images and plot elements from a movie released in 1974 is somehow endearing. It isn’t. It’s just lazy, like having a character named “Sheriff Hooper.” Gee whiz, fellas, how do you come up with this stuff?

As usual, a 6 foot 5 inch chainsaw enthusiast in a mask made from human skin is able to sneak around without causing suspicion, creep up on his victims and, in one scene, chase our heroine through a funfair without eliciting so much as a surprised gasp. The redneck police officers are all graduates of the Wicker Man school of detecting, which means they wander alone through the House Of Bloody Death and say, “I’m gettin’ a bad feeling here!” as they discover body parts, or “this is the most disturbin’ place ah ever been” as they find a corpse in the freezer.

With its overripe performances, characters that can’t jump foot-high fences and supporting cast of yee-haw caricatures, not to mention a scene where Leatherface forces a van off the road by waving a chainsaw its way, this is the Battlefield Earth of horror films. Here’s hoping the sequel sends the characters into space.