11. Brad Pitt Roots Coffee
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOewY8xzk7U Impossibly handsome wage slave Brad Pitt is, in his impossibly handsome, surfer dude way, trying and failing to make a photocopier work its unholy magics. Downing a can of Roots coffee, the rich roasted taste and caffeinated stimulation give the frustrated Narcissus an idea, and marching the infernal machine to the stairwell, he throws it to the landing below, shattering it and freeing the photocopy that he was after. Leaving aside the ridiculous idea that your office would ever employ a man so good looking (hes clearly a prime candidate for the Rapture, for a start), theres the issue that Roots coffee has obviously badly damaged Pitts decision-making process if he thinks that descalation is an appropriate response to office equipment messing with him. Unless this is a deleted scene from Fight Club showing us Tyler Durdens origin story, in which case carry on and well done.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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