8. Sylvester Stallone - Knorr Soup
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GehQsqvKpa4 This wonderful, wonderful advert shows a bouffant-haired Sly directing a brutal, bloody Asian action/war flick as if it was an arty European drama, exclaiming with a wild joy at the beauty of what hes witnessing... the commercial cutting back over and over to show the mayhem that is in fact taking place on set in front of him. The climax explains everything (thank god!) showing Stallone sitting behind a table and tucking into some Knorr soup, the tagline echoing in our ears: Knorr. It's MY taste. Ah! So the soup, you see, allows him to observe the carnage of his straight-to-video masterclass in racist bloodshed and see the true beauty in every scene, the human tragedy and the poetry that encapsulate Rambos later offerings. How wonderful. Perhaps if I take a pint or two of it intravenously, I can watch his version of Judge Dredd without being sick on myself.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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