12 WTF Harry Potter Fan-Fictions You Won't Believe Exist
3. Devil’s Snare
Is there anyone or anything that Severus Snape won’t do in the weird world of fan fiction? So far he’s done Jesus and the Teletubbies and now, in Devil’s Snare, the professor has turned his attention to dendrophilia. ‘What is dendrophilia?’, I hear you cry. Nothing too bad – just a little fetish that involves being sexually attracted towards plants and trees.
At first, given the Snare’s reputation as the boa constrictor of the plant world, Snape thinks he’s about to become plant food but it turns out the Devil’s Snare has other things in mind and the two embark on a mutually satisfying sexual relationship that at some point sees Remus Lupin, Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter embroiled in a strange bukkake orgy with the unlikely lovers.
As unlikely a couple the pair make, their epic love affair – which stretches on for fourteen chapters – seems to work out with Snape and the Devil’s Snare even spending Valentine’s Day and Christmas together. Which is, um, sweet we suppose?
Choice Quote: ‘Severus didn’t remember much of that night, only that he’d been quite out of it as the plant had him several different ways, all of them resulting in explosive orgasms and constant moaning.’