12 WTF Harry Potter Fan-Fictions You Won't Believe Exist
2. To Ride The Electric Serpent
We’ve seen some pretty unusual Harry Potter crossover fan
fic pairings so far, from Lance Bass and the Teletubbies to Indiana Jones and
Jesus Christ himself. Now prepare yourself for a Pokemon crossover, because why
the hell not?
Apart from sounding like a euphemism for being off your face on heroin, To Ride the Electric Serpent is weird crossover featuring noseless nemesis Lord Voldemort and Pikachu who just so happen to be embroiled in some kind of BDSM based relationship.
Given Pikachu’s limited vocabulary, it’s a relatively short story – thank god – because if it was any longer we’d probably need to inject some bleach right into our brain flaps. Also, given his limited lexicon, it’s not like he can even have a proper safe word so we’re not sure how consensual this Voldemort-Pikachu pairing really is. Poor little guy.
Choice Quote: ‘Pikachu nodded. He took a breath and waited, electricity dancing a static dance along his skin. As long as it danced, as long as it burned his flesh and made the guilt of the lash run sweet and toxic through his blood, as long as that deceptive mouth tasted each wound as it rose, he would gladly suffer these last heady hours until the sun rose and seared the pleasure from his bloody flesh.’