Release Date: February 6th The Plot: Get ready for this, because it's a doozy. Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) has always felt like she was destined for great things, but currently works as a cleaner, until intergalactic warrior Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) arrives on Earth, shaking up her entire world. Caine reveals that she is the heir to Earth, and faces a dangerous threat from Balem (Eddie Redmayne), the head of an alien dynasty who wishes to harvest humanity to generate a youth serum for himself. Why It's Awful: Here's a plot that walks a fine, fine line between being unconscionably terrible and so ridiculously insane that it just might work (though the lengthy 8 month delay doesn't seem to suggest so). On the basis of the synopsis and the trailers released so far, it seems that Jupiter Ascending is the Wachowskis throwing everything they can at the wall and simply hoping that some of it sticks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4ZzMkDLjWI On one hand, it's extremely impressive that they managed to convince someone to give them $175 million to make something this bonkers, but as much as everyone will hate to admit it, this one is probably destined for total and utter failure.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
