Why It's Awful: Len Wiseman directs this vampires vs. werewolves flick stylishly enough, and Kate Beckinsale is unquestionably effective as the sexy lead Selene, but the plot suffers badly from its derivative love story, and each dump of expository dialogue is carelessly trundled out just to get us to the next shootout or set-piece. It's dull when it's not moving fast, and doesn't really offer enough to satisfy fans of either horror or action flicks. At 121 minutes, it's also far too long. The Remake: Cut out the love story and focus more on the vampire-werewolf war, which is intimated in the original movie though not nearly given enough screen time compared to its lesser elements. Slice down the exposition, ramp up the set-pieces, throw in some contemporary war satire and tighten the pacing up so that it lands in at around 100 minutes or less. Casting Selene should be easy enough, and with a solid enough director, this could easily blow the original out of the water, even reinvigorating the stagnant franchise.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
