4. The Longest Ride
Why It Looks Terrible: It's the latest adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel, and unsurprisingly, it looks as corny and laughable as any movie he has ever been involved with. It's surely going to be more of the same: beautiful people falling in love, having softcore, soft-focus sex, before one of them probably dies or something, and the audience is meant to feel emotionally gratified rather than overwhelmingly manipulated. Even with Clint Eastwood's insanely handsome son Scott taking the lead role, this looks as bland as anything. How It Will Make A Profit: To date, every single Nicholas Sparks movie has at least made its budget back, and the overwhelming majority of them have made a ton of money to boot. These movies know their audience and play to them perfectly, and with an on-the-rise Eastwood in the lead role, he's sure to lure in both the hormonal teen and middle-aged housewife demographics.
Jack Pooley
Contributor
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
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Jack