15 Terrible Upcoming Movie Moments We Already Know About

2. The Hilariously Softcore Sex Scenes - The Longest Ride

The Moment: The trailer for the latest adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel sees the author's series of movies sliding closer still to self-parody, as it focuses on schmaltzy drama and attractive people having perfunctory, perfectly-lit, soft-focus sex to appease the Christian middle-class housewives who keep funding this garbage. Why It's Going To Suck: Because even though nobody expects nudity in a PG-13 movie, it's just not going to be very sexy either, shot so conservatively and without passion that it's pretty much impossible to buy the idea of these two actors "making love". ...And The Rest Of The Movie?: It's a Nicholas Sparks movie, so of course, it's going to be utter garbage.
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Contributor

Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes). General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.