14. Jeremy Melton (David Boreanaz) - Valentine (2001)
At the school Valentines Day dance, young Jeremy Melton was humiliated by a group of teenage girls, which proved so stressful that he that he underwent a complete breakdown, become a delusional psychotic and signed on to appear in this film. 13 years later, the girls have flowered into Denise Richards, Katherine Heigl, Marley Shelton and Jessica Cauffiel, and Jeremy begins stalking them, leaving maggot-infested chocolates signed JM. So its going to be pretty easy to track this guy down, right? No, because hes had plastic surgery to look like that guy from Angel, meaning hes able to befriend Shelton and give her some hoo-haw about being a recovering alcoholic. Even when her friends start disappearing or receiving notes that read, The journey of love is an arduous trek, my love grows for you as you bleed from your neck, she believes him. In fact, theres only one sign that Angel and Jeremy Melton are the same guy they both suffer from nosebleeds. So when Shelton and Boreanaz are reunited in the final shot and his nose starts to bleed, the viewer wonders about an earlier scene where his character was drunk off his ass. Could he even hold a knife, or would he stumble around like Scary Movies villain? Think about that. Never see them in the same room, do you?
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
