You don't remember Never Say Never Again? Probably because, just like the rest of us, you've omitted it from your memory due to its unashamed awfulness. An aging (and balding) Sean Connery returned in this remake of Thunderball which featured pretty much none of the things (apart from Connery himself) that had actually made the original any good. Still, if you can remain interested in the film for long enough, it does have quite an entertaining Q Branch scene. No Desmond Llewellyn here unfortunately, but Alec McCowen does offer up an interesting cockney alternative to the Boothroyd character. He greets Bond with a rocket fired from this rather patriotic fountain pen, which is later used to dispose of the glamorous but deadly Fatima Blush, whose explosive demise leaves only a smoking pair of heels behind. "You could write a very binding contract with this," Bond quips. As evidenced here, the jokes in Never Say Never Again are even sketchier than those in the offical Bond canon.
