20 Problems Only Cannes Film Festival Attendees Will Understand

Anyone who has ever made a film has dreamt of the day they've taken it to build publicity at Cannes. The reality of that is a lot of schmoozing in bars and a lot of boring leg-work, rather than the glamorous adventure you probably imagine.

And because it's a ridiculously competitive market, you'll inevitably see grand publicity stunts - like Richard Burton frollicking with a tiger cub on the beach, or the cast of Nuke 'Em High wandering around being all noisy. That's admirable: people want attention for their films.

But then you get the likes of Transformers or Kung Fu Panda putting on a show on the Croisette: films that are so far removed from your quaint, arty vision of Cannes that it's enough to make you choke on your espresso and cigarette.