Somehow, the Scary Movie franchise has spanned 13 years and five movies, but I'm pretty confident it won't be coming back after this abomination. Jettisoning any of the recurring cast members of the previous movies, the series that was originally a direct spoof of the slasher genre further denigrated itself with tiresome pop culture references and low-brow humor. Simply referencing other movies that people have seen and shoe-horning in celebrity cameos for no reason is no substitute for actual laughs, something the franchise could have learned from in its seven year absence from the big screen. It smacks of blatant commercialism to throw together another low budget, low idea, laugh-free 'comedy' and hope that name recognition makes it a hit. Unfortunately, the movie did gross $78m against a $20m budget, but audiences are clearly fed up with the run-into-the-ground franchise as it became the lowest-grossing movie in the series by almost $70m. Let's hope they never make another one. Runner-Up: Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Three years after Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief opened to middling reviews and disappointing box office, the young demi-god was somehow rewarded with the sequel that nobody was crying out for. As well as losing original director Chris Columbus, most of the big names that appeared in the first movie were notably conspicuous by their absence. The sequel sees Percy and friends as they search for the Golden Fleece at the titular Sea of Monsters. It's not a terrible movie by any means, but it's just kind of... there. The effects are solid, the performances are adequate, but the story is devoid of any real narrative propulsion or real tension so the end result is decidedly mediocre. Much like the franchise itself, the box office takings of $202m against a $90m budget were solid if unspectacular. Will there be a threequel? And does anybody care?
I don't do social media, so like or follow me in person but please maintain a safe distance or the authorities will be notified. Don't snap me though, I'll probably break. I was once labelled a misogynist on this very site in a twenty paragraph-long rant for daring to speak ill of the Twilight franchise. I stand by what I said, it's crap.
