7 Horribly Disturbing Implications Of Your Favourite Christmas Films

6. This Whole Santa Thing Is An Elaborate Front For A Slavery Operation - The Santa Clause

What Happens: After accidentally causing Santa to fall to his death, Scott Calvin finds a card among Santa's clothes telling him to put on the suit and take Santa's sleigh to the North Pole. Unfortunately for Scott he forgot to read the fine print, which states that by putting the suit on Scott has agreed to assume the mantle of old Saint Nick. The Implications: The Santa Clause is a lifelong contract. Actually, it's longer than life because Santa is a magical and immortal (unless he falls of the roof). Scott must fulfil his contract until some unwitting dupe delivers him the sweet gift of death. Is Scott getting paid for his service? No. Does Scott have a choice in the matter? As the movie makes abundently clear: no. Scott tries to get out of it but finds that no matter what he does, he starts transforming into the robust, cherry-cheeked old man with a fluffy white beard. Scott has no legal recourse either, as the Santa Clause's magical origins works outside of the judiciary system. A deal like that used to be called slavery. The worst part is anyone can find themselves shackled to a permanent gig, reduced to living in an artic wasteland, much like a Siberian Gulag, with no end in sight. On Christmas eve, if you hear someone on the roof, you better think twice about confronting them because you could end up a slave for all eternity, hoping day in and day out the tender mercy of death. Hopefully, Scott wises up one day and frees himself in a frenzied, Django unchained-style orgy of bullets that will send his elf overlords to the special corner of hell reserved for slave owners.