8 Alternative Awards For 2016's Movies

6. Best Glorified Trailer - Captain America: Civil War

2016 AWARDS
Marvel Studios

For reasons of plot, Captain America and Iron Man have a falling out and call in Ant Man, Spider-Man and Black Panther, handily setting up each of their forthcoming movies in the process. Two and a half hours later, nothing has been resolved but the door is left wide open for the next Avengers movie.

That’s a reasonable summary of Civil War, which really is just a movie where a bunch of stuff happens. Academics will look back on 2016 as a time when $250 million blockbusters were little more than overextended episodes of a TV series, intended to leave you anticipating the next one which leaves you wanting the next and on and on into infinity

Loaded with all manner of digital trickery, this isn’t an action movie – it’s a live-action cartoon for adolescents of all ages, a crassly commercial “product” whose only message is “Buy Me!” Be sure to stay tuned through the credits for a teaser for Spider-Man: Homecoming.

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Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'