3. Star Schlep Into Sharkness
Cast: The Cast of Goonies (except Josh Brolin - he is still very famous), a shark, Peter Weller
Plot: After a secret archive is destroyed in what appears to be a shark attack, Captain Kurt (Sean Astin) and Commander Sock (Corey Feldman) of the Starship Try Hard are sent on a dangerous mission to track down rogue Spacefleet agent Harry Johnson (a shark), who Admiral Robocop (Peter Weller, because why not?) insists is definitely not a shark. But once they track him down, they find out that he is actually indeed a shark, even though in all of the trailers and interviews and featurettes they absolutely, unequivocally and obnoxiously insisted that he was definitely not Khan. I mean: a shark.