8 Times Jake Gyllenhaal Fought His Own Hotness (And Won)

5. Zodiac (2007)

By the time Zodiac came out, Jake had been in the public eye, as an adult, for 6 years. We knew he was gorgeous. We all saw Brokeback Mountain and wept and a few of us even saw The Good Girl and wept again, though this time we were just overwhelmed by how much better at acting Jennifer Aniston was than we€™d realised. There was reason to believe he€™d turned a corner and accepted his looks as a fact of life to be embraced rather than muted at every turn.

Zodiac is about a serial killer. So... OK, that doesn€™t immediately scream €œsexy romp€ but let€™s dive in. It€™s based on real events which means it€™s quite hard to get caught up in the fun of the storytelling because, well, there are real dead people involved. And the serial killer was never found so unless you are turned on by the existential dread brought on by the knowledge that there€™s a murderer on the loose, this probably won€™t be the carefree celebration of Jake€™s bone structure that you were holding out for.

Still! There could be hope. Did Jake play the gruff detective on the case? A mysterious and charismatic suspect? Or, I don€™t know, an Olympic diver who was peripherally involved somehow and spent the whole movie in a pool? No. Jake played a political cartoonist, meaning he spent a significant portion of the movie bent over a desk under unflattering lights. Truly impressive strategy.

Contributor
Contributor

Brydie is an Australian writer and performer living in London and she complains exactly the same amount about the weather as every other Australian living in London. Yes, that is her natural lip colour, no, she will not be taking any further questions at this time.