3. Old Habits Die Hard
When John gets home from Russia, he finds a letter in the mail. It is a plea of help from his third grade teacher, Sister Teresa. The geriatric nun is serving a mission in Sierra Leone, and her village is under threat from a group of mercenaries trying to kidnap kids to mine for blood diamonds. Having always been partial to the old rector, John catches the next flight to Africa. The draw to this idea is that nuns with guns are at once a recipe for comedy gold, and some surprisingly awesome looking action. I see John getting holed up in the orphanage with a group of aging sisters, in a siege-type scenario against token African baddies (machetes and AK47s optional). There is even room to have John handing out a bunch of semi-automatic guns to the elderly sisters and then saying dont fire these unless you need to", to which the sisters all lock and load bless you Mr McClane. But these motherf***ers are going down!. Having an African Christmas does not translate that well visually, but it could still work with a few references to the Nativity and a handful of Christmas decorations peppered about.
Tagline: Its gonna be a s***e Christmas.