1. Geoffrey Thwaites - St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold
There is no film that Colin requires a greater kicking for than this. The first film, as awful as it was, played to a certain demographic that got it. Fair enough. This, however (are you noticing a trend here) must only have been done for the money because there are no redeeming features whatsoever. Colin returns as Geoffrey Thwaites, the now former Education minister. Obviously, this means he can now kick back in his relationship with Miss Camilla Dagey Fritton, unhilariously played by Rupert Everett. I hope those two sat in their trailers and felt bad about what they'd done here. It's an unremarkable adventure film which sees Frith teams up with the girls of St Trinian's to get revenge on David Tennant's Sir Piers Pomfrey...by sailing the reconstruction of the Golden Hind down the Thames and taking down the bad guy. Then they have a disco. Several words have been bandied about this particular top five, sleepwalking most among them but I like to think that Colin looks thoroughly disgusted with himself. Not only is he in a terribly made film, with no script to talk of, he's also playing to stereotype and also second fiddle to, amongst others, Sarah Harding. This film is all sorts of wrong, mostly because Colin Firth is so much better than this but, then again, he probably knew that as he'd just recently finished filming The King's Speech.
