Fifty Shades Darker Review: 2 Ups & 8 Downs

Downs...

8. It's Not Sexy. Like, At All

Much like the first movie, the biggest issue with Fifty Shades Darker is that it's just not very sexy at all, clearly made with repressed middle-aged housewives in mind, who would apparently shudder at the sight of an actual penis or vagina in a movie.

The sex scenes here are tasteful to the point of inertia, where there's very little in the way of nudity or eroticism: you see an errant boob or butt every now and then, but anything else is strictly off-limits.

Hell, Jamie Dornan even keeps either his shirt or trousers on during most of the film's sex scenes, and there are numerous implied sexual encounters that take place off-screen.

Seriously, if you're going to make a movie like this, why not swing for the fences and go all-out? Instead it's sanitised for as big a market as possible, and categorically fails to titillate all but the most meek and timid as a result.