7. Rowan Atkinson
Tempestuous coupling! Tortured romantics! Tyrannical contracts! And... Teddy? Yep, if Rowan Atkinson were to be cast, it would be a case of Mr. Bean discovers BDSM. Imagine the hi-jinks that would ensue as the lanky mute tried to set up a sex swing! And why buy Anastasia a fancy-schmancy Audi when she could zip around in a little yellow Mini? (Or at least zip around until Christian, in one of his rages, knocks her over with a puke green Volkswagon beetle). Has Christian trapped his head in a turkey's tookus because he was trying to find his watch, or is it another one of his kinky games?!
Ooooh! Rah ruv oo Ranaaaah!