10 Ways Film Geeks Can Survive A Zombie Apocalypse
7. Dont Listen To Anything Female Members Of The Survival Team Say
The one thing which pretty much every zombie film has in common is that if youve got any women knocking about then theyre incredibly unlikely to survive unless theyre the protagonists love interest and act as a kind of human reward for their skill and bravery in defeating the zombie hordes. Largely, the role of women in zombie films is to scream and die. Therefore, the best thing to do with any women in your survival team is to either bin them all off immediately or find out which one fancies the male protagonist most and bin everyone else off. If you also happen to be female, Im afraid you might have to bin yourself off. That said, a gang of self-sufficient women taking on zombies and the patriarchy at the same time does sound like a much more interesting and enjoyable film than the bang-average one youd be leaving behind. The honourable exception is 28 Days Later, wherein Selena and Hannah prove themselves highly proficient in the art of zombie-killing. The alternate ending, where Jim dies on a hospital bed after being shot, is even better: it shows the pair striding off, weapons in hand, to take on the world together like a blood-splattered version of Thelma and Louise. The Fog also deserves a shout-out for letting Adrienne Barbeau and Jamie Lee Curtis actually get involved in sorting everything out. Actually, you might want to say goodbye to any friends youve got who arent white - they tend to get eaten fairly quickly too, if theyre involved in the storyline at all.
