I Wanted More Star Wars, But Not Like This

I was defending the possibility of the Sequel Trilogy for years, and people told me I was crazy. A friend who worked at Lucasfilm, when asked about the SuperShadow website responded, €œI€™ll get back to you on that.€ So who is SuperShadow? My theory is either a disgruntled former employee of Lucasfilm that propped himself up like Sith Lord of the Flies over his own little corner of Geek Fandom, or perhaps a coalition of past and present Lucasfilm associates who like sticking it to Ol€™ Georgie! (Almost as much as Indiana Jones does!) My money is on the former, as SuperShadow€™s information has not changed much in the last 6 years, and his critics are quick to note that accurate updates to his alleged plot treatments for Episodes 2 & 3 only emerged after the scripts were leaked through other sources. As Cleaveland-D2 said, this is happening, and we all need to come to terms with it. Lucas met with Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher this past summer to break the big news. She€™s been getting back in shape, and he€™s got that rugged determinism that comes from being the voice of Batman Beyond and the brains behind Dark Horse Comics. I think we can chalk up Harrison Ford€™s lackluster performance in Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull to poor diet, and the fact that the whole movie was probably a screen test for Han Solo: The Elvis Years. If we learned anything from Tron: Legacy, it€™s that CGI has evolved to the point where it can remove 20 years or more from an aging actor€™s face, (and that Jeff Bridges will always and forever be The Dude). Keep in mind that the sequels are supposed to take place 30 years after Return of the Jedi, the approximate amount of real time that has passed, though unfortunately without the aid of 31st century medicine. In the end, it could be far worse, Lucas himself could be directing. Let€™s recall the primary difference between his two Star Wars trilogies, and the crucial failure of the prequels. First, we must put on some bell bottoms and spark a doobie, and try to remember what the world was like in 1977. There were still only 12 channels on the television, and VCR's still ran on BetaMAX. George Lucas wrote his Star Wars movies for the 18-25 year old ticket-buying demographic. This is the main reason they€™ve endured and are so eminently re-watchable. The huge explosion in merchandising was something of a surprise; several billion action figures and lunch boxes later, Star Wars merchandising has grossed several times more than the films themselves. The demographics and writing didn€™t change much for Episodes 5 & 6, but the merchandising train continued at full speed ahead. Fast-forward twenty years to the Prequel Trilogy and you will find scripts that are written for and movies marketed at 8-10 year olds, and several million young adults who paid to go see them anyway! Enter Jar-Jar Binks. (*ref*, Star Wars On Trial?)

::gags:: Granted that movies written for young adults in today€™s age would be too violent for children, but couldn€™t we have found a better middle ground, George? Maybe a PG-13 rating that was actually deserved? George tried to appease us in Episode 2 by having Jar-Jar Binks call the vote to grant Emergency Powers to Chancellor Palpatine. Oh, so just because the most hated character in all of Star Wars ends up being the linchpin for the Galactic Empire, we€™re just supposed to forget this blatant insult to our intelligence? No sir, not until we see Jar-Jar€™s severed head on the end of a sharp stick, carried by none other than Wicket J. Warwick himself, the most courageous Ewok who ever lived. I say we€™re probably better off with Lucas relegated to the role of €œCreative Consultant.€ Disney is most likely locked into whatever plot treatments were included in the deal, which if they bear any resemblance at all to the ones posted on SuperShadow.com, are undoubtedly more advanced. We are allowed to raise our expectations slightly with Oscar-winning screenwriter Michael Arndt penning the screenplays, and Lawrence Kasdan, the brains behind The Empire Strikes Back involved. Exactly how much you raise them is entirely up to you. Disney is going to take whatever liberties they can, and someone is always going to be pissed off. Lucas has rewritten his own canon before. (C-3PO was built by Anakin? Seriously?) It was time for him to retire. If I may play Devil€™s advocate for a moment, I would offer that Disney knows how to make things entertaining for adults. Remember all those sexual innuendoes that Robin Williams included in his voiceovers? Or the Castle of Penises in the Little Mermaid? Then there€™s the fact that the Sequel Trilogy will not have the iconic 20th Century Fox fanfare at the beginning, and the possibility of a Star Wars-themed amusement park. (I have to admit, I would probably go). The merger also makes it more almost certain that they will eventually produce the Star Wars Live Action Television Series, which connects Episodes 3 & 4. (ABC has already expressed interest). Like any situation, there are pro€™s and con€™s, and probably not much we can do about it. Disney and Lucas have been in bed togeether since Star Tours first opened at Disneyland 20 years ago. In some ways this may have been inevitable. (Rupert Murdoch doesn€™t have that kind of money). We shall have to wait and see what happens, and what this means for the Star Wars Universe. May the Force Be With You.