James Bond: Ranking The Theme Songs From Worst To Best

20. For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton

FYEODescription: I don't know if it's the stereotypical '80s synth or the... we'll say "romantically wistful" tone that this tune takes, but this is just another example of how mushy James Bond title tracks just don't work. You either need to be an alchemist or a really cunning linguist to be able to pull it off, and neither of which is a particular skill in Sheena Easton or Bill Conti's toolbox. Not to mention, Ms. Easton is the only vocalist to appear in the opening titles singing their own song, which is tastefully set in the midst of your local eatery's gigantic fish tank. I will give her this though, Ms. Easton can sing, and she can sing as if she's putting an effort into singing. Choice Lyrics: "Maybe I'm an open book because I know you're mine / But you won't need to read between the lines" While not as bad as Ms. Coolidge's observations on depth perception, this is just plain cheesy. It sounds like a bad Hallmark card, not the opening to an adventure of intrigue and espionage. I really hope MI6 doesn't brief their agents with such material, otherwise the world's fate rests on agents with code names like "Snookums" and "Wubby Lubby" (Note: Agents Snookums and Wubby Lubby's whereabouts are unknown at this time, and as such those code names have been retired).
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Mike Reyes may or may not be a Time Lord, but he's definitely the Doctor Who editor here at What Culture. In addition to his work at What Culture, Mr. Reyes writes for Cocktails and Movies, as well as his own personal blogs Mr. Controversy and The Bookish Kind. On top of that, he's also got a couple Short Stories and Novels in various states of completion, like any good writer worth their salt. He resides in New Jersey, and compiles his work from all publications on his Facebook page.