James Bond: Ranking The Theme Songs From Worst To Best

18. The Man With The Golden Gun - LuLu

Man With The Golden GunDescription: For once, a Bond song that ISN'T a romantic ode to 007's crown jewels! However, we're not out of the woods just yet. Though we're back to full on action territory, this song is just a little too... poppy and shrill for my liking. Pop is a hard line to walk when it comes to Bond themes, and this one is just shy of being listenable. Its blaring instrumentation and its "almost too harsh to listen to sound" don't do it any favors, but the lyrics are the true killer of fun in this case. Choice Lyrics: "Love is required whenever he's hired, he comes just before the kill." I think I'm just going to let that one speak for itself. I don't want to break any What Culture content guidelines launching into a dissection of this gem. Suffice it to say that it's easy to see where that remark was going, and it doesn't help when the song later talks about how "one golden shot means another poor victim has come to a glittering end." For crying out loud woman, you're singing about Francisco Scaramanga, not Edward Cullen! Why couldn't we stick with the Alice Cooper track on this one?!
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Mike Reyes may or may not be a Time Lord, but he's definitely the Doctor Who editor here at What Culture. In addition to his work at What Culture, Mr. Reyes writes for Cocktails and Movies, as well as his own personal blogs Mr. Controversy and The Bookish Kind. On top of that, he's also got a couple Short Stories and Novels in various states of completion, like any good writer worth their salt. He resides in New Jersey, and compiles his work from all publications on his Facebook page.