Madame Web Review: 1 Up & 9 Downs

Downs...

9. The Insultingly Dumb Plot

Plenty of good superhero movies have had so-so plots, but Madame Web can't even deliver the basic, generic beats with competence.

The movie kicks off with an unintentionally goofy, Peru-set origin story for Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson) and only gets more inane from there.

The villain, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), is meanwhile haunted by a premonition of his future demise at the hands of the Spider-Women and employs hilariously contrived means to track them down in the present, bringing him into conflict with Cassie as she discovers her own burgeoning ability to see the future.

On top of that, the means through which Cassie is then forced to team up with future Spider-Women Julia (Sydney Sweeney), Mattie (Celeste O'Connor), and Anya (Isabela Merced) - involving her being framed for assaulting a fleet of cops - is eye-rollingly convoluted.

Nothing in the story feels fresh or organic - you can practically hear the narrative's rusty machinery aching as the film traipses along, delivering a supremely idiotic rendition of a superhero movie formula we've been subject to far too many times by now. Just... no.