3. Jack Knife - The Man With The Iron Fists
If there's any "what was he thinking!?" role in this list, it's unquestionably Crowe's recent turn in RZA's woefully inept, scarcely comprehensible martial arts stinker The Man with the Iron Fists. One can't help but wonder whether Crowe was just passing by the set and asked if he could be in the film; after all, who is going to say no to this man? He plays the ludicrously-monikered Jack Knife, an opium-addicted soldier who just can't get himself enough of those Chinese women, frequenting Lucy Liu's brothel and spending most of his (very brief) screen time there. Crowe reportedly only spent 10 days on set, and it really shows, but what's more disturbing is how freaking
bloated and doughy the guy looks here; it's like he's getting ready for a sequel to The Insider or Body of Lies.