Simon gets SAVED BY THE BELL on DVD
Over twenty years ago, teen television was an empty environment, missing a certain creative spark and minus that one enormously popular starring programme that would really put the early 90s on the cultural map. And then Zach, Screech, AC Slater, Jessie, Kelly and Lisa burst forth onto screens everywhere, bringing vibrancy and perfect bouffant hairstyles to the airwaves in a manner that must surely have seemed vulgar. They socked it to us in a way that the cloest British equivalent- 'Grange Hill' - could never have even hoped to be able to.
The multifarious differences between 'Saved By The Bell' and 'Grange Hill' are lead by the fact that the main characters weren't just likeable, they were achingly cool- they were in fact personifications of every type of model a real child could ever aspire to be. They were the jock, the wise cracking joker-leader type guy, the dork who managed to still hang around with the cool clique, and three enormously hot girls who played some role or other. For me, they represented three varied love-interests for when I was feeling spontaneous and varied in my choices, as I never really aspired to be a girl.
What I'm getting at is, rather than the glum moral lessons of 'Grange Hill' that were clearly designed to frighten the life out of viewers and make sure they wouldn't ever touch the drugs or have underage sex (though oddly the 'Grange Hill' generation went on to give birth to the morally and socially repugnant creatures who now walk the streets of Britain without refrain), the "lessons" of 'Saved By The Bell' were limited to how to be cool, how to get the girl, and how to pull a fast one over the painfully inept school masters like Mr Richard Belding.
In short it was perfect television, and continues to be now on DVD so many years later. The characters are fantastically compelling even now, and the storylines are all genius- so much so that they pretty much exhausted the stock of school-related plots to such an extent that 'Saved By The Bell: The New Class' was almost entirely shit.
Personally, I had a particular favourite aspect of 'Saved By The Bell'.
Long before he was fronting dance troupe competitions with the most hilariously pantomime set of judges in the history of television, AC Slater- I mean Mario Lopez- was a teen TV star of epic proportions. He was so cool that we could forgive the fact that he was called Albert Clifford. He was also my idol for a while- he was a bit of a goofball jock, but he was rugged and handsome and he was far more likely to get the chicks than any of the dorks he hung around with; what's not to like?
And as if confirming the legendary status of Mario Lopez, the second, slightly ill-fated version of 'Saved By The Bell' - subtitled The New Class in a possibly unintentional but confusion reference to Gremlins 2- featured a character called Maria Lopez. Now that's self-referential love for you right there; well, either that or its smug self-satisfied confirmation that the series makers knew the already cultish phenomenon that the original was spreading.
And the success of Saved By The Bell was definitely cultish- firstly one need only consider what has happened with Dustin Diamond in the seventeen years since the original series ended (ignoring his odd role as massively incompetent side-kick to Principal Belding in The New Class). From 2000 onwards, the artist formerly known as Screech wandered through the wilderness, his only appearances largely the filmic equivalent of those demeaning appearances at nightclubs D-List celebs make to wave at disinterested boozy punters (in things like '13th Grade' and 'Big Fat Liar'). Diamond looked doomed to exist only as an unfortunate personified memory, the cruelest fate of all being his only lasting legac would be to be remembered as that guy who used to be Screech. A pitiful scratching of a living, but one in which he would probably be adored for ever.
But that wasnt good enough for Dustin. Instead he took out his camcorder, got himself a bride to be and a bridesmaid, and made himself some porn. This is not unprecedented in the world of flagging celebrity- it is the easiest way to cynically boost a flopping profile- and the infamy of the tape might well indicate Diamond's cult status because of 'Saved By The Bell'- I mean come on, who wouldnt want to see a chick get nailed by Screech?! But that's not the end of it- the real indicator of how famous Diamond was without knowing it when he made that skin flick is visible right at the end of the tape.
There are certain sex acts that are deemed the Holy Grail for the kind of people who rate that kind of thing, and there is a particular kind of naughtiness called a "Dirty Sanchez" that some of the more culturally-aware members of our readership will recognise. It is the inclusion of this act, and the girl's willingness to participate that confirms Diamond's untouchable cult status: for it is only the warming encourage of that special type of fame that would make that sexy act a little more acceptable.
The other indicator of 'Saved By The Bell's' lasting cult appeal is the astounding news that there will likely be a new 'Saved By The Bell' movie in 2011. This is despite the fact that the already existing films- and they number two amazingly- were utterly unimaginative and unnecessary. Somehow I doubt it will star the original cast- Dustin Diamond especially is unlikely to want to join up with the rest of the cast- but it is fairly likely that there will be some knowing cameos in there: perhaps AC Slater could be a boozed-up and broken gym coach, scarred by his failures, wearing the paunch of near middle-age, and minus the luxurious hair he cultivated so well (though since Mario Lopez looks bloody identical now to his 1993 self that might prove difficult), or Jessie could turn up as a washed up actress who spunked her "talent" pretending to be a violently convulsing fish in a piss poor porno. Oh wait...
No matter what that future release brings, I will go back and rewatch this Saved By The Bell DVD over and over, because more than any nostalgic film that tries to recreate a feeling of a time gone by, nothing matches the feeling of remembering where you were, and how much easer life was than watching something that mattered so much to your younger self.