And 5 That Sucked...
5. Judge Dredd - Judge Dredd (1995)
The night I went to see Judge Dredd I was so cheesed off with the film that I went out afterwards and got spectacularly falling-down comedy drunk. I was found sitting on the side of the bath, asleep, with my head in the sink, by my mother. And that experience was still more enjoyable than this awful waste of a film. You could say that hes hopelessly miscast, and taking off the helmet inside the first 10 minutes was considered sacrilege by fans, but the real problem is that Stallone just plays Dredd as any another action hero. Hes lonely, hes violent, but really hes misunderstood, a great guy who loves to snog the ladies. No he isnt, hes a fascistic judge dispensing justice in a police state, and even though its only been written down before, I doubt very much he says I AMMM THE LOORRRE like hes just come back from the dentists. The only reason he isnt the worst thing in it is because of comedy futuristic criminal sidekick (trademark) Rob Schneider. But thats a bit like saying falling out of a 21st floor window is better than falling out of a 22nd floor window. A great man said in 2008 that the real fault of the film was about wasting such great potential. That man was Sylvester Stallone. Tell you what Sly, I could have told you that 13 years previous, sitting on the side of my mum's bath.