Ahhhh The Video Game Movie Adaptation.
What a weird and wonderful aspect of cinema this genre is. On paper it sounds like the best thing since sliced Jesus; take an existing and successful video game IP, attach a few big-name actors to it, bang out a plot based on one of the many games and laugh your way to the bureau de change.
However in practice, it's far far more complicated than that, as we gamers are a rather possessive lot, and we cling on to our favorite video game franchise in such a fashion that any adaptation that is milked from their thick loins is scrutinized over and over with a fine-tooth comb.
Not helping matters is that more often than not such projects are given to creative forces that either have absolutely zero understanding of the source material or worse, approach things with an "I can do better than these nerds" attitude.
Well, you know what my friend? You didn't do better and that's why your films end up here, as these Video Game Movie Adaptations SUCK!
4. Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li
Now I bet a fair few of you are expecting me to polish up my shiny banter bat and take it to the legs of Street Fighter: The Movie seeing as it's like trying to convince someone that you've got an original Picasso painting for sale only to present them with a crude drawing of a dick on an etch-a-sketch, but you know what?
I absolutely love that film.
Now don't get me wrong, it's still a very, VERY bad film, complete with enough ropey dialogue to hang yourself with and visuals as ugly as a newborn baby.
What? All babies look horrendous. Like old people with anime eyes. No thanks.
However what this film did get right was that it never took itself seriously, always referencing the fact that Street Fighter, as a concept is ludicrously over the top. Plus that absolute wedge of ham acting from the likes of Raul Julia as M. Bison? That's utter butter for my nutter friend.
Yet while this film is a nice picnic in the park with all the cheese in the world, here come the bloody bees, the stinging, unrelenting bee that is The Legend Of Chun-Li.
Why anyone thought that making an action movie with no idea how to direct action sequence was a good idea is beyond me, honestly I've seen Great Khali matches with more spark, but the abysmal miscasting really does drive home the fact that nobody gave a single toss about this project.
Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas to play VEGA? He acts about as well as he plays drums, and lest we not forget, he doesn't play drums.
If you want one shot to sum up how god awful this film is then check out the club fight sequence, in which Chun-Li uses her famous Spinning Bird Kick. In the games, this is a gravity-defying and jaw-dropping move that sees Chun-Li turn into a whirlwind of death. In the film? she shows everyone in the audience her granny panties while missing each and every goon around her and does so veeeeery slowly.
Good job film. You only got...let me check here...oh yes, EVERYTHING WRONG.