When you give Japanese game developers the brief to make Lara Croft with a supernatural twist, the result probably looks something like Bayonetta. Unfortunately, like the Tomb Raider games, Bayonetta isn't exactly known for its story and the game has one heinous plot twist that's more gratuitous than Bayonettas cleavage. In the first half of the game Bayonetta comes across a young bespectacled girl named Cereza, who looks quite a lot like our heroine and likes calling her mummy. After letting Cereza tag along for a good chunk of the game, it is finally revealed (to no ones surprise) that Cereza is actually a 4 year old Bayonetta. Aside from feeling like a tacked on twist for the sake of having a twist, theres a few problems with this. Didnt Bayonetta just wake up from a 500 year nap? Cereza was sent back (forwards?) to help Bayonetta regain her memories, but why send a 4 year old instead of a more seasoned version of Bayonetta? Isnt it a little creepy to have a younger version of yourself think that youre their parent? Were still not 100% sure how this whole 'she's actually you' thing works or how anything makes sense in this universe. But they were probably hoping everyone who played the game would be too distracted by the boobs to notice.
My life story is nothing special. I haven't cured ebola, I'm nowhere near stopping terrorism, and I'm still working on that climate change problem.
Instead, all I've done so far is put a few hundred words together in an attempt to make people laugh.
You can follow me at @Fry_ying_pan but don't be offended if I don't tweet back. It's usually because I've spent too long trying to think up a witty response that the reply window has closed.
