Imagine if all the universe's secrets were suddenly available to you. Imagine, from the day you were born even, that you were acutely aware of everything that has happened, is happening, and was going to happen throughout all of existence. Imagine you knew how existence was put together, and how it came apart. That'd be a head trip, huh? You'd be more likely to wind up like the bed-ridden, insane astronaut from the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey than the strangely calm and collected Matthew McConaughey after his similar spiritual awakening in Interstellar. The former's mute, somewhat dopey demeanour has a Pokémon equivalent, too. Yes, one explanation for why Slowpokes are such a docile, sloth-like and apparently useless Pokémon is that they are actually omniscient beings, paralysed under the weight of the consistent mind-blowing knowledge they're made aware of. It's definitely a theory.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
