Picture this youve made a blistering run down the wing with André Schürrle, cut into the box and are just about to offload to Samuel Eto'o when Jan Vertonghen cynically knocks you down in the box earning you the penalty. Frank Lampard is one of the finest spot-kickers in the game and so easily puts it away, winning you the match. Instead of the congratulations you deserve you instead hear accusations that the games referee is biased, bent, blind, a secret Chelsea fan or in some other way corrupt. Although the games selection of referees do at times award softer looking fouls than others, they are at least consistent with their decisions and certainly cannot be accused of being biased, given that they aren't actually real people with real emotions and real affiliations. Everyone has at one time or another been stung by an odd penalty which the ref awards its an unfortunate part of the game but is certainly not a viable excuse.
3. The Goalkeeper
Its typical of a player predisposed to making excuses that they should ignore the 10 players you skilfully controlled en-route to a spectacular victory and instead focus on the one player operated by the AI the goalkeeper. Typically those prone to using this excuse will wait a moment after the game until the player ratings come up before exploding in a chorus of the keeper won you the game and I wouldve won if my goalie played like that if your goalkeeper had a rating of 9.0 or above. While it can be frustrating playing against a keeper who seems to be having the game of their career, getting into the correct position with the right player will categorically result in a goal, even if the keeper standing in the goalmouth were a 6-tonne African Elephant. The failure to create these high-percentage goal scoring opportunities rests with the defeated player and none other.
Hailing from South East London, Sam Heard is an aspiring writer and recent graduate from the University of Warwick. Sam's favourite things include energy drinks, late nights spent watching the UFC with his girlfriend and annihilating his friends at FIFA.
