3. Resident Evil
A day in the life... Aw, Raccoon City. Despite moving here because it was the cheapest place around, it's really not so bad. Quirky name. Typewriters everywhere. No raccoons, though, which is kind of disappointing. That's like calling a place Dog City and there not being any dogs. I guess. So what's going on? Well, I spoke to that nice new police officer today. What was his name again? Leon, that's it. Seemed kind of nervous, though. Well, I remember my first day at work. He'll settle in. Swell. Okay, so what do we have here? Gun store. Alleyways. Alleyways. Alleyways. All right, well I won't need to fret in case I need an alleyway at any point ever. Hold on a second... it seems as though something has gone terribly wrong throughout the entire cityscape. Jesus. People running about with their flesh rotting off, you say? What the heck? God, how is
that guy still alive? Hey! Stop trying to bite me, you crazy person! Christ, is that woman on fire? My God, are those infected dogs leaping through those windows? And what the hell is that? A monster with a
bazooka? That lousy estate agent, I knew he was bullshitting me about this place. Time to vacate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCKsW8aSUJ8 How about somewhere far away? How about Eastern Europe? That's better. Quiet. Brooding. This place is kind of odd, though... why are the townsfolk chanting and trying to grab me? I don't speak your language. No, I don't know anybody called Wesker. All right, perhaps not here, then. How about... Africa? Yeah. Nobody will find me on the 'ole Dark Continent. I can relax here. Soak up some rays. Are you talking to me, machete man? Hm?
Umbrella? Why would you need an umbrella here? Oh, for fu--
What's to hate? The world of
Resident Evil is unashamedly terrifying in every way. Unless you're Chris Redfield - a man capable of punching a boulder the size of a small shed into a volcano - living here isn't going to be a very pleasurable experience at all. Despite the fact that you'll probably turn into a zombie at some point and eventually killed by one of the game's savvy protagonists, it's seriously worth wondering whether or not you'd even want to try to survive in a world like this anyway. With the wild assortment of horrific creatures stalking you and leaping out to try and tear off your head, it's going to be a real test of nerves for every minute you choose to stay alive. Especially when you hear those chainsaws revving up and you're stuck in a room with Leon. We don't know what's more frightening: a chainsaw-wielding maniac or the chance that Leon might spout one of his goofy one-liners.
Likelihood of Death: 9/10