2. Grand Theft Auto
A day in the life... I shouldn't go outside. This city is one stinkin' rotten apple and it's poisoned to the very core. Crime has infected every inch of its alleyways, its streets, its disgusting excuse for an infrastructure. Nobody can be trusted. Everyone is corruptable. This place is Hell.
Oh well. As a human being who obviously needs to function somehow, I'll wander the streets of this dive at almost every hour of the day until I'm caught up in an incident of some kind. Maybe I'll get a catchphrase or something to spout out when somebody who looks important runs past. How about "Yeah, I've been drinking again," or "Come here you little prick!" Yeah. That'll do it. Off I go, then. Walking about. Gosh, there's that wild young man again. He's always up to
something. Stolen another car, has he? Well, I never. If he didn't run hundreds of people down and throw grenades at police officers every day, he'd be a folk hero or something. Still, for what is probably the most wanted man on the entire planet, he sure gets away with murder. Ha.
Murder. That's what he's actually getting away with! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kzv8KX6I0w But I jest. Of course, it'd be great to move out of this dump, but I'm so darn poor it just isn't a possibility. Then again, it's only that one young man who is making this city such a mess. Seems to be working his way up the crime ladder somehow, doing odd jobs and errands, and it's the rest of us who are suffering as a result. So I suppose if the police caught him all this bad stuff would go away. Mostly. It's a good thing that the police don't just give up, then. It's a good thing that the police are constantly going after him without a moment's pause. Instead, of say, chasing him for a bit and then if they can't find the guy they reduce his wanted level to zero and just stop looking. That would be
bad.
What's to hate? Let's face it: even if you're a character with some lines and a personality and a story, you're probably going to end up dead in
Grand Theft Auto. So take pity on the thousands of frankly stupid pedestrians (it's not their fault - they're programmed dumb) who inhabit the dingy streets of this blood-thirsty game franchise's cities. For these poor souls exist purely as causalities. Their destiny is to be squashed beneath the wheels of your latest vehicular steal. To provide "testing services" for that new gun you found in an alleyway. It's a tough life, it's true, given that your only choice is to wander or drive around. And for those brave citizens who decide to stand up against the lawlessness of the
Grand Theft Auto protagonist, all that awaits is a grim kind of future. Slain on the payment. Because he has lots and lots of weapons. And the civilians don't. Now think about that for a while and listen to
this.
Likelihood of Death: 10/10