2. Cryogenic Freezing
The gent above should be able to help you out with this. Bit drastic this one. I'll also be the first one to admit I totally stole the idea from South Park. Just make sure you don't do what Cartman did and wake up thousands of years in the future. Actually, you could probably do that and get the Playstation 680 and Xbox OneThreeSixty then. So yeah, why not go lock yourself in the freezer for a bit? There's room next to the fish fingers. A plan with no drawbacks. You may have to stop other family members from opening the door, though, or you'll just thaw out and find yourself back at square one. Also: let me know if the light does stay on inside the fridge when you open it. I've always wondered about that.