1. A Comedy Sidekick
Because I'm playing exclusively offline and I've not yet learned how to summon, I've not yet sampled the delights of Dark Souls in co-op mode, but seeing as you're not allowed to play with anyone you know, I can't see how this could possibly lighten the mood at all. That's why Dark Souls II needs a comedy sidekick who'll follow you at all times whether you play online or offline. Think of a cross between Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element and Jar Jar Binks, but with more wise-crack, someone completely inept who somehow always manages to scrape through a situation. My heart-stopping descent into the Valley of Drakes would have been a lot more of a laugh had I some kind of overweight quipper with a swagger accompanying me. He could even make wry puns based on whatever it is you're about to fight! That would make things a lot less foreboding and, let's face it, more accessible. And to guarantee a strong relationship between you and your sidekick, he could be completely unarmed at all times. Every second of Dark Souls II could therefore be an escort mission; and seeing as nothing enthrals gamers more than being forced to take care of a dimwitted NPC who can't even take care of themselves, they'd truly be missing a trick if they neglected to shoehorn a comedy sidekick into Dark Souls II. What do you think?