10 Christmas Songs That Make You Want To Blow Your Brains Out

1. Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade (1973)

Key Lyrics Are you hanging up the stockings on the wall? It's the time that every Santa has a ball Does he ride a red nosed reindeer? Does a 'ton up' on his sleigh Do the fairies keep him sober for a day The most annoying song of all, especially because it was voted the most popular Christmas song ever in a 2007 poll by MSN Music. First of all, I don't understand how a bunch of hoary old glam rockers can still entertain the nation. It has been 40 years since the original was released and yet every year we get the odious ditty on repeat every 15 minutes across every radio station. Noddy Holder calls it his pension song because of the royalties he receives from its constant playing at Christmas. Well that is fine for Noddy, but no one else is benefitting from the song. In the song, Slade accuse Santa firstly of being a drunkard and then of being a lech who is going to opportunistically grab your mother and snog her under the mistletoe. Then they say 'Everybody's having fun,' which is a blatant lie because they have just taken up tools to smash in the CD player. Slade also ruin Christmas for naive children who believe in the real one and only Santa by alluding to 'every Santa' in the song, thus crushing those childrens' dreams. It's another horrible forced jollity song that people play at discos etc and drunkenly dance along to, pretending they feel the sentiment of the song, but really struggling with an existential state Which Christmas songs do you hate? Share your own picks below in the comments thread.