10 Least Festive Christmas Songs Ever

9. The Pogues Featuring Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale Of New York

Fairytale of New York has only been around since 1987 the but its timeless, folky tune sounds like it could have been around for centuries. Make no mistake, the song is an absolute classic and we’re glad it rolls around again every December. But is it really Christmassy?

Yes, that chorus about bells ringing out on Christmas Day leaves us all feeling just as warm and fuzzy as the drink presumably made the song’s protagonist before he wound up in the drunk tank. But in between that catchy refrain, everything is booze, drugs, gambling, rows and reproach.

Still, who amongst us hasn’t had a few pints at Christmas and launched full-lunged into the song's most scabrous lyrics?

“You’re a bum/you’re a punk/you’re an old sl*t on junk/lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed/you scumbag/you maggot/you cheap lousy f*ggot/Happy Christmas you arse/I pray God it’s our last.”

It’s enough to make Nat King Cole blush!

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Chris Chopping is a writer, YouTuber and stand up comedian. Check out his channel at YouTube.com/c/chrischopping. His dream job would be wrestling Manager and he’s long since stopped reading the comments section.... Follow him @MrChrisChopping on Twitter.