10 Least Festive Christmas Songs Ever

Stop The Cavalry has a brass band arrangement that gives the track a suitably festive feel and lots of people can relate to that longing in the refrain, “wish I was at home for Christmas.” However, singer-songwriter Jona Lewie has repeatedly said in interviews that it was never intended as a Christmas song.

Listen a bit more closely to the words and you’ll spot that it’s no celebration of Yuletide but actually an anti-war protest song. It’s a pretty decent one too. Lewie’s protagonist sings of cavalries, Winston Churchill and nuclear war, because he represents all soldiers who have been pressed into service, “down throughout the centuries.” It’s a neat lyrical conceit but a confusing one for any youngsters with a limited grasp of world history listening.

Lewie’s dour vocals are a long way from Noddy Holder as well. The whole thing is about as festive as you’d expect a song that features nuclear war to be, i.e. not very.