10 Least Festive Christmas Songs Ever

6. Greg Lake - I Believe In Father Christmas

What more Christmassy sentiment can be expressed than, “I believe in Father Christmas”? Especially when paired with an orchestral interlude lifted from Prokofiev’s Troika.

This bonkers, bombastic epic from Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s Greg Lake isn’t quite as wide eyed with Christmas wonder as it first appears. Look a little closer and you’ll see it’s an odd fit alongside some of the season’s more innocent perennial hits.

Instead of celebrating Christmas, the song rails against the commercialisation of the season, with lines like, “they sold me a dream of Christmas.” It also complains about the snow that never really comes. Instead, the relentless, rainy British weather provides, “a veil of tears for the virgin birth.”

Lyricist Peter Sinfield described the track as, “A picture postcard Christmas, with morbid edges.” Somebody needs to explain to Peter that you don’t send postcards for Christmas. He must have been thinking of Christmas Cards.

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Chris Chopping is a writer, YouTuber and stand up comedian. Check out his channel at YouTube.com/c/chrischopping. His dream job would be wrestling Manager and he’s long since stopped reading the comments section.... Follow him @MrChrisChopping on Twitter.