5. Kid Rock - "First Kiss"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTCnno-3EGE
Jenny Clayton was a girl that rhymed really well with the song that was my hip-hop sh*t. I tried to use some of the things I learned about rhyme-schemes in hip-hop in the stuff Im doing now.
That's a real quote from Kid Rock when asked to talk about the girl he describes in the song as being his, you guessed it, first kiss. She doesn't exist outside of Rock's very sophisticated rhyming sensibilities, apparently. So...mystery solved, you guys! It was fine when this guy just wanted to make the leap from rap-rock to Southern rock, swapping his Kangol and track suit for a cowboy hat and a rebel flag, all while insisting people disregard the fact that he is now a middle-aged hillbilly and continue to call him "Kid." And it was even sorta tolerable when he went full-on country nostalgia with "All Summer Long," even though he desecrated
two different classic rock songs in the process. But now he wants to retread that rubbish AND add a canned dance beat straight out of a One Direction track? OH HELL NO,
SIR. "First Kiss" just proves that this fully-grown man has become a strange, sadistic kind of lazy in his old age.