20 Problems Only Music Festival Goers Will Understand

14. Smuggling Alcohol Into The Arena

In a futile effort to actually control the drinking of British people, most festivals will impose a ban on bringing your own alcohol into the arena. You've got two choices here: either shell out seven quid for a plastic cup of watery Tuborg, or man up and break some goddamn rules. Standard procedure here is a can stuffed down either welly, one in a hoodie carried over your shoulder, and as many down the jeans as you dare. Do not celebrate if you make it through. They watch for that sort of thing.

13. Deciding Where To Buy Food

People get hungry less frequently at festivals than at home (too many distractions, too much fun!), but you'll still manage to take on the same amount of calories as normal. That's because every single portion is twice as big - and five times less healthy - than a standard meal. Don't panic when hunger strikes; a rushed decision at the food vans can be the difference between your best friend's amazing Turkish wrap thing and your stale cheeseburger. Quick side note: why are the people who work on these stalls so bloody confident and chirpy? They all seem like slightly grubby CBBC presenters.